 |
The following are common questions/concerns people may have regarding mediation.
“I’m not sure about this.”
It’s not unusual for people to come to mediation with concerns, especially if it’s something they haven’t experienced before. That’s natural. You can share your concerns with the mediator assigned to your case, and the mediator can answer any questions you may have.
“I don’t have time, this will be a waste of time.”
It may be that not resolving the conflict is taking up a lot of your time and energy already, with more of the same likely in the future. With just a small investment of time, mediation can pay huge dividends in moving on from energy-draining conflicts.
“I’ve tried to talk to him already, and it did no good. There’s no use.”
Many people call us as a last resort, feeling frustrated by the situation. The success and relief that people feel after mediation assistance reaffirms for us that we can help. The majority of parties are very pleased they participated. Mediation is successful more than 80% of the time when both parties participate. Mediation is often a better first option than doing nothing, getting frustrated, or involving enforcement agencies.
“This is a sensitive matter I don’t want others to know about. How confidential is this?”
The mediators and staff ensure that all conversations are confidential. Information does not go outside the program -- not to other people, other agencies or other government departments.
“I want to talk to a lawyer; I need legal advice. What is the law?”
The mediators are not legal advisors. Their role is to be impartial, and not to give advice, legal or financial. You can certainly talk to an attorney -- going to mediation does not preclude that option. If you would feel more comfortable learning about the applicable rights and responsibilities of the parties (i.e., landlord-tenant code, etc.), you can call the PAMP program administrator who will answer your questions or point you in the right direction.
“Why should I try mediation instead of calling the police or suing my neighbor?”
If you share your concerns with your neighbor without blame and hostility, she or he will be more likely to understand and respond in a positive way than taking an adversarial position by involving law enforcement or the legal system.
“I just want to take this to court. The law is on my side. I know I’m right.”
Mediation avoids the embarrassment, costs, and time of the court system. Many people get fewer than 10 minutes to present their case in Small Claims court, after they have waited for hours. The court will only listen to points it considers “relevant,” while in mediation you will be able to discuss all of your concerns and have more control over the outcome. Then the judge makes a ruling, imposing the court’s idea of a solution, whether or not it works for you.
The advantage of mediation is that you have more control over your situation. Whether you make an agreement or not is up to you, and the terms of any agreement will be totally up to the parties.
“He’s rude and nasty; I don’t want to meet with him. I’ll get too upset. I’m afraid.”
One of the benefits of mediation is that a trained, impartial mediator will help both parties to communicate with each other in a better way than in the past, with ground rules to ensure everyone’s safety and comfort. Name calling or other inappropriate behavior is not tolerated.
“Can’t the mediators just tell him for me so I don’t have to talk to him?”
In our experience, if parties come to the table to talk face-to-face, they are more open to working out a solution. Parties have potentially greater impact and are more likely to come to an agreement in a face-to-face mediation session.
“How do I know the other side will live up to an agreement if we reach one?”
More than 90% of parties who reach an agreement in a mediation in the Palo Alto program follow the agreement. Because the parties themselves have come up with the solution, there is a stronger incentive to implement it. A high compliance rate is one of the benefits of a mediated solution versus a court-imposed solution.
“What happens if we don’t reach an agreement in the mediation?”
If the mediation is not successful, you have waived no rights and still have the option of going to court if you choose. Additionally, the Palo Alto Mediation Program Office may be able to assist you with other resource referrals that could help you resolve your issue.
Next: The mediator's role
|
